:: Out of Spite, Out of Mind ::

:: Sunday, January 01, 2006 ::

Wrote this yesterday (9/21)
So damn hot today. The house was blazing, I woke up: 10ish... then fell back asleep noonish... re-woke at 3! Man, I needed it- the entire week I was running on half power, never quite recharging.

I've been playing quite a few gigs recently, and enjoying the fruits of spreading my music and meeting new people... that's what it's all about, so I am extremely happy.
I am writing new songs. I like them, and hope you can hear them soon.

It's crazy how many people know each other, and I'm not even talking about the Friendster thing... just this huge intricate web we inhabit. Every chance encounter that possibly becomes an acquaintance opens a new door to a possible friendship/partnership/marriage...

I was tracing back how I was introduced or got to know certain people, as well as pathways of how my friends know mutual platonic friends, or girlfriends/boyfriends.

Some mind blowing stuff, kind of like looking at the reflection of a mirror- the infinite possibilities- like what if I never asked Jorge for a match? or what if I didn't go to the concert that night and didn't accidentally puke on Wanda? Imagine life w/out certain lovers/friends cuz you never met them... for better? worse? I wouldn't have it any other way.

:: Ol Man Factory 1/01/2006 12:25:00 PM [+] ::
...

So I return, briefly... like driving past your old house and pointing to your bedroom. There's someone in the doorway, familiar but long lost. You squeeze the hand of the girl next to you. The girl who loves you.

:: Ol Man Factory 4/03/2004 09:05:00 PM [+] ::
...

Bartending memory that surfaced upon waking this morn

"Good beer and good music, that's all that's worth living for" he said to me.

He was in here before, but I couldn't remember his name. He was in his mid forties, looked like an example of the kind of guy I used to hope to grow up to be when I was a kid.

I had seen him come in with a beautiful woman months before, and a few months before that I met him for the first time.
She said that he had mentioned me, the bartender who had cheered him up by playing Elvis Costello tunes on the restaurant's stereo all night.

He left me a $40 tip on a $70 bill that night...

But tonight he was alone, travelling through the U.S.
He seemed wounded somehow, but I didn't ask.

He was reading a newspaper with a horrific headline as he said the above quote.

:: Ol Man Factory 1/17/2004 01:32:00 AM [+] ::
...

Once upon a Newcastle upon Tyne there livid a man named "Man" but his friends called him Kiel Boss A. Nova-Caine-Mutiny-La-Tina or "Girl" for short. At the Crackpipe of dawn, a loser crowed and cocked his head at the sight of the plumber's crack.

"What a crock" said Man/Girl as he/she batted .257 and spit a wad of big league chew into the crockpot division.

A parade was flooding the street- hordes of locusts and whores in low-cut genes with both past and future members of Eros Myth on a Flatbread truck in tow. Also present: Cosby, Stilts, Nash Bridges, Abercrombie and Finch and Jung otherwise known collectively as the band "DOUCHEBAG".

Then Man/Girl said to his girl Rex: "Fuji Apple of my eye I mean Granny Smith of my corny, uh.... Mango of my exotic eye I mean Candied Apple of my Adam's family jewels I mean Pomegranite of my X-ray I mean Tango of my Skeezo I mean Lemon of my pupils or is it Fake wax display fruit of my brow?"

His girl Rex replied "I know what you are trying to say- It is all but illusion. It is all Maya...My, uh...bad. I am not a girl as you can plainly see my excitement."

to be continued at a later date- later than you think.

:: Ol Man Factory 11/24/2003 03:19:00 AM [+] ::
...

Here's a conversation I had with a friend- I had to change his name to protect his identity.

Rictis (11:43:21 AM): what you doing today?
QEFTVG (11:43:39 AM): homework maybe
QEFTVG(11:43:50 AM): i should be in class in half hour, but not gonna go
Rictis (11:45:34 AM): ah I see. Masturbation is more important sometimes
Rictis (11:45:40 AM): more impotent sometimes
QEFTVG (11:46:01 AM): haha
QEFTVG (11:46:42 AM): masturbation makes me tired
QEFTVG (11:46:46 AM): can't go to school
Rictis (11:46:52 AM): lots of work
Rictis (11:46:57 AM): lots of home-o work

QEFTVG (11:49:19 AM): yeah, makes your balls loose.. tell tale sign that you've been jerking off
Rictis (11:49:25 AM): HAHAHA
Rictis (11:49:31 AM): can I quote you on that?
QEFTVG (11:49:35 AM): yes

:: Ol Man Factory 11/18/2003 12:28:00 PM [+] ::
...

So a lot has happened in the last, like 12 days...

I've decided that I don't wanna cry at sad things anymore, just the beautiful things... Naive, yeah... totally...I know...I know...

I've decided to put on an Elliott Smith tribute show. (nov 25 "test run" at Ireland's 32?)

I've decided that trying to control life is pretty much like trying to steer the "It's a Small World" ride off it's course at Disneyland... it pretty much ain't gon happen. You're gonna hit the end of that tunnel eventually- so just chill and enjoy the ride, Dexter. Sure, you can jump off on Holland and kick it with all those little robotic kids singing, but security's gonna handcuff you and throw your ass out...

I've read through my blog archives and decided that the serious/heavier entries are my least favorite...

SO

I'm gonna aim for more light heartedness in this blog- there's too much bitterness/sadness in the world already

I'm gonna try... no promises though.

Here's some new "haiku"

(Inspired by the Big B- my grandma)
B-b-b-baa-chan
Kuma-moto! What up girl?!
Kicking-it Old school.

(inspired by Naan-and-Curry)
Nancy you are hot
I love you anywhere but(t)
Tenderloin is best

(inspired by a fictional Japanese rapper)
I like the breaks dance
I spin on elbow, homeboy!
you say "eh?-?-?" (japanese style "ehhhhh?" for 3
syllables)

:: Ol Man Factory 11/03/2003 01:50:00 AM [+] ::
...

So I've been doing google searches and coming up with the same story:

apparent suicide- stab wound- was working on his new album- age 34

It just sounds too shady, I can't believe he'd take himself out like that- esp. in such a painful way...

I woke up this morning hoping it was all a horrid dream, that he was still alive and it was some awful misunderstanding. I woke up to a world with him gone. The eerie thing is that I played last night and the last request was an Elliott tune. I played Ballad of Big Nothing- while playing it I was reveling in it's beauty and sadness... fucking it up because I was so lost in it's imagery and haunting harmony. 20 minutes later I got the news and have been in kind of a stupor ever since.

I met him once, he was extremely gracious- I told him he was my hero, and he said "oh, really?" I asked him about guitar tunings, and he was kind enough to indulge me. He signed my ticket (symbol for heart) Elliott. I was floating for weeks.

But now, he's gone.
This is gonna be tough

knowing I'll never see him sing or play a note again
knowing that I'll never be able to talk to him again
knowing that this fountain has forever run dry

too soon, elliott, too soon

:: Ol Man Factory 10/22/2003 01:19:00 PM [+] ::
...

My worst fears have been confirmed.

it's 2:44 in the morning, my heart's broken

:: Ol Man Factory 10/22/2003 02:53:00 AM [+] ::
...

"Into temptation- knowing full well the Earth will rebel..."

-Neil Finn

Every good thing has it's price. I hate to be the pessimistic/glass half empty kind of guy- but there is no way around it.

Don't get me wrong, things are going extremely well for me- haven't been this happy in a long time...

and that's what scares me so.

:: Ol Man Factory 10/13/2003 01:09:00 AM [+] ::
...

I've been having some serious blogger woes- it won't publish my entries... fiddled w/the settings...hope this works
Wrote this yesterday (9/21)
So damn hot today. The house was blazing, I woke up: 10ish... then fell back asleep noonish... re-woke at 3! Man, I needed it- the entire week I was running on half power, never quite recharging.

I've been playing quite a few gigs recently, and enjoying the fruits of spreading my music and meeting new people... that's what it's all about, so I am extremely happy.
I am writing new songs. I like them, and hope you can hear them soon.

It's crazy how many people know each other, and I'm not even talking about the Friendster thing... just this huge intricate web we inhabit. Every chance encounter that possibly becomes an acquaintance opens a new door to a possible friendship/partnership/marriage...

I was tracing back how I was introduced or got to know certain people, as well as pathways of how my friends know mutual platonic friends, or girlfriends/boyfriends.

Some mind blowing stuff, kind of like looking at the reflection of a mirror- the infinite possibilities- like what if I never asked Jorge for a match? or what if I didn't go to the concert that night and didn't accidentally puke on Wanda? Imagine life w/out certain lovers/friends cuz you never met them... for better? worse? I wouldn't have it any other way.

:: Ol Man Factory 9/22/2003 12:36:00 PM [+] ::
...

So I've been kind of in a haze today-
stemming from this intense dream I had last night.

I had a dream that I was in love with a beautiful woman- I think that, uh, she was a prostitute or something. It was totally intense, passionate and self consuming- like I knew it was self destructive, yet no price was too high to be with her. She said something like "the price is something you'll never be able to afford" yet she was in love with me too. It was extremely sad and frustrating. I woke up at 4am -heart racing with frenzied passion whipping through me. I couldn't get back to sleep- it was too real or something... the things she was saying to me were things my mind could never invent... as if I was channeling some kind of temptress.

Trying to figure this out, maybe it's meaning is obvious...
(like time to get proactive in the quest for mate- which is totally NOT my style)... or maybe it's deceptively complex... maybe I dialed the wrong "dream number"

:: Ol Man Factory 8/28/2003 06:36:00 PM [+] ::
...

What my world needs more of now:
Sleep
Curry
Girl
guitar practice

heh heh, I better be careful what I say/axe for cuz some people take me too seriously.

Actually more appropriate would be this list:

Balance
Patience/Urgency
Competence
Time/timing
Luck of being in the right place at the right time

Ummm I know I'm forgetting something... perhaps money so I can pay off all these piling debts. I feel like I'm going nowhere pretty damn fast!

:: Ol Man Factory 8/28/2003 06:23:00 PM [+] ::
...

Waitin' Tables, Waitin for the tables to turn
Waitin' Tables, Waitin in a city with no left hand turns

Where are you now?

$30, makin $30 a day
$30 but the meter maid came and took it all away

Where is the love?

Sleep's the only place where I can see your face these days
You take me home
You give me hope

Ride the clock and wait in vain
same ol difference but what's it make?
Just minimum wage

Reading fables, reading into windows of hope- and pray
prayin that the wind'll come and blow you my way

Where are ya now?

Seems the only place that I can find you's
in this song...

You take me home
Beautiful girl
You give me hope

Usin' staples trying to make these ends meet
hope we meet in the end and I hope that we end as friends

Where are ya now?

Turn the tables, it's your turn to turn the tables and learn
turn the tables in a city w/no left hand turns

Where are ya now?

:: Ol Man Factory 8/28/2003 05:26:00 AM [+] ::
...