:: Out of Spite, Out of Mind ::

:: Thursday, December 12, 2002 ::

The whole growing up w/estrogen thing has been both a blessing and a curse - sometimes it's like being "backstage" at a show- where one can hear the honest ugly truth and see what really goes on in the female mind...

Trouble is, I can be biased sometimes- because I've seen how my sisters and their friends act- (good and bad) it's like a constant reference guide. I might open it up and say "Hey, you're pulling a younger sister: code B, with a double combo twist! Stop it immediately, that's against the rules!"

or other times, I'll look something up and it'll be like "oh...you're quoting page 9, paragraph 3, fourth sentence...that means you want a cupcake and a puppy"

But I hate being biased- so I just try and keep an open mind, until someone points out that I am deluding myself. (usually that someone is me, by the way)

Disclaimer: I don't understand women/girls all the time, but once I had a dream that I was a girl. It was bizarre, I was pretty much myself, but it was understood that I was a girl - it wasn't sexual or anything. That would be a nightmare. (I hate guys, I looooooove women! -Jay from Clerks) I'd make a heinous woman...trust me.

Anyways.


Time to drink some beer, kick some ass, overcompensate, read Hustler and Playboy and Modern Bride...uh, lift some weights, assert my male ego, overcompensate, watch some sports, knit a sweater, uh...whoops.

:: Ol Man Factory 12/12/2002 05:45:00 PM [+] ::
...

I've been thinking alot about girls recently (suprise!) and the ways they deal with with or don't deal w/stress. Example- a girl at work had some car trouble, so she immediately was in tears...I felt bad for her of course, but I immediately thought "she must be the youngest in her family" Then I thought that if my middle sis was in the same situation, she'd probably keep her cool and get through it (then maybe cry later!)...

Different strokes for diff'ent folks I guess.

I think I wrote about this before, but what the hell-

My Japanese friend once said to me "I think guys like us aren't really affected by girls crying because we grew up w/crying sisters - so we're used to it" I though it was kind of a messed up thing to say, then I realized that he's right. I know a girl whose boyfriend freaks out whenever she cries, he's got two brothers... he's not used to a crying girl. I, on the other hand am like "stop being such a little wuss!" j/k... but seriously, I dunno if it makes me insensitive when my sister is crying, or extra-sensitive because I know what will make a girl cry.

(just about anything on certain days).

Angry mob of girls armed w/rolling pins: "Oh no you didn't!"
Me: "Oh shit, did I say that out loud?" (Running)

All I know is that girls cry- and the only thing I can do is either a) leave her the hell alone and let her cry it out, then talk to her. or b) give her a hug and try and console her w/out words or c) try and make her laugh. Honestly, I usually use (a) because crying is a personal thing to me, kinda like peeing...
y'know?
liquid?...but out of the eyes...flushing out waste? anyone? anyone?

I am alone on this I fear. anyways...

Random:
I overheard someone at work say something kind of cliche, but cool: "you gotta look at the good, cuz the bad side is always there- you'll always find something bad."

I found myself thinking about this all day, and it helped. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a dopey optimist wearing a happy face all the time... I'm just getting older I guess... and need to fight twice as hard to fend off bitterness.

:: Ol Man Factory 12/12/2002 12:16:00 AM [+] ::
...

Got on a Van Halen kick the other night- like a musical junior high school reunion. I sought out all the music that made me want to play the guitar so fervently in the 80's... I haven't heard some of these tracks since the awkward years- testosterone filled hard rock lullabies that nursed me in the womb of adolescence... Some of this music really helped me through those years, gave me something to strive for (i.e. becoming a rock guitarist, since athletics was out of the question)

Listening back to this stuff made me realize one thing: Well executed, wildly passionate guitar playing will always put a smile on my face. (as will lyrics like "I got an onramp comin through my bedroom!")

:: Ol Man Factory 12/08/2002 01:08:00 PM [+] ::
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