:: Out of Spite, Out of Mind ::

:: Tuesday, August 06, 2002 ::

I'd like to dedicate this post to a very special person. In fact, it's been brought to my attention that he is one of my biggest fans, and he is always first in line at all of my recent appearances/ book readings/public canings...

Audience: (shouts in unison) "Who is it?!!"

cue music- (civil war theme) Ladies and Gents, I present to you the one and only Ben "Bitchquake 2002" Lee! (Canons! Doves! Fire-eaters! Somewhere the "Iron Chef"host holds up a pepper and bites into it!)
I am overwhelmed with emotion... please give me a moment to collect myself...(ten minues elapse)
King of the Vegans... Master of disguise... Beekeeper of the hive of villainy... Seducer of the Queen Bee... Bitchslapper of injustice everywhere...Liberator of the gimps! I could go on, but i choose not to.
Okay, okay... here's one more: The man in the mirror! No, I'm sorry- I got that wrong- the man BEHIND the Man behind the mirror!
Ben and I met on the set of the movie we were filming in the 80's (coincidentally titled: "Ben and Me")... a documentary about the inventor of Ben Gay. I remember arriving on the set early and hearing a slurping sound. I turn around and there is a naked bespectacled man, IN A HOT-TUB SIZED BOWL OF RAMEN with 80's band Kajagoogoo and their groupies! After all the noodles and broth were gone- I threw him a towel and he thanked me profusely. It was from that moment on that I knew I had helped dry a great, great man.

:: Ol Man Factory 8/06/2002 12:40:00 AM [+] ::
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