:: Out of Spite, Out of Mind ::

:: Saturday, July 06, 2002 ::

Wrote this the other day- posting it now cuz blogger wasn't working...forgive my laziness for not writing anything "new": In the Old Man and the Sea, the Cuban fisherman couldn't catch anything for eighty-four days...finally he hooked a huge marlin that he killed and tied to his little boat. It was fruitless trying to bring it to shore though, because the sharks had devoured all of the meat off of the carcass. What a bummer! Kurt Vonnegut made an analogy: the marlin was Hemingway's first novel in 10 years- the sharks being the critics who ripped it apart. He goes on to say about his own novel, Timequake :
"And then I found myself in the winter of 1996 the creator of a novel that did not work, which had no point, which had never wanted to be written in the first place. MERDE! I had spent nearly a decade on that ungrateful fish, if you will. It wasn't even fit for shark chum. I had recently turned seventy-three. My mother had made it to fifty-two, my father sventy-two. Hemingway made it to sixty-two. I had lived too long! What was I to do?
Answer: Fillet the fish, throw the rest away." I

:: Ol Man Factory 7/06/2002 02:21:00 AM [+] ::
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oh crap! As a joke, I did a google search on "Penal Spasms" look what I found!
3. FRED_CHERRY

a. Plaintiff FRED CHERRY is an adult resident of the
State of New York, residing in Kings County.

b. Plaintiff CHERRY suffers from a medical condition
known as malabsorption syndrome (also known as celiac disease).

c. Said medical condition causes plaintiff CHERRY to
suffer from emaciation and extreme fatigue, making it impossible
for him to engage in normal social activities that lead to
meeting women and sexual relationships.

d. After many years of unsuccessful attempts to develop
a sexual relationship with a non-prostitute woman, plaintiff
CHERRY first had sex, at the age of thirty, with a woman
prostitute.

e. Because of the aforesaid disability, plaintiff
CHERRY has had to rely on women prostitutes for sexual
gratification, thus violating Penal Law @230.03.

f. Plaintiff CHERRY has maintained sexual relationships
with women prostitutes to the present time, and has never had a
sexual relationship in New York State with a non-prostitute.

Yikes!

:: Ol Man Factory 7/04/2002 08:36:00 AM [+] ::
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There's an angry man in my pants! An angry trouser leprechaun...ok sorry, I couldn't resist.

:: Ol Man Factory 7/04/2002 08:30:00 AM [+] ::
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There's a little man dancing in my eye! No, not really but it sure feels like it. A little eye leprechaun with no rhythm trying to "get Jiggy" on my lids. It's really awful, I've had them before and I think it's because of the massive amounts of caffeine I've been ingesting recently to numb the pain of being awake so early. My dad said "it's from watching too many dirty movies" I told him "no, not enough dirty movies" He didn't respond. I did a google search on "eye spasms" and it said that the cause of them is unknown... There are some other more serious conditions- like the Essential Blepharospasm which means your eyes shut involuntarily. That's pretty dangerous- it wouldn't be so bad though if it happened during a bad movie (like CLONEWARS!) or if something/someone you didn't wanna see came your way...(hooray for the opti-mist...or optometrist) Also there's the Hemifacial spasm which is basically one side of your face twitching...kinda like facial tourrettes I guess. I'd hate to be in a situation and appear to be laughing at something not funny or scowling at someone I wasn't disgusted with... I believe there was a Seinfeld episode about this? Anyway, if you see me and I'm winking at you, it's most likely the little man in me eye!

:: Ol Man Factory 7/04/2002 08:27:00 AM [+] ::
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Unemployed... it's a monday and I'm restless as hell- the names of the days mean nothing to me now. Time to seek the advice from the council of elders:
Soren Kierkegaard says I am dizzied by the "vertigo of possibility" and frightened by the "monstrocity of freedom" that stares me in the face-
Muddy Waters told me "you're gonna make pretty womens jump and shout"- perhaps they are angry at me.
Another alternate reality shows itself- I'm in the streets of Japan strumming and singing for people- "and your bird can sing"...myself feeling like a bird drowned out in the thunderous hush of traffic and technology. Perhaps I'm playing with some cats in a club somewhere in Europe, trying to liberate myself harmonically to the tune of "Softly, as in a Morning Sunrise"... making air sculptures that nobody will ever see, dissipating like smoke as soon as they are puffed out...an exercise in futility. Oh well, I am here now- and so that's where I shall be (said the wee barnacle to the mighty mighty Sea)
Dylan says "I'm stuck inside a Mobile w/the Mephis Blues again"
how cryptic

:: Ol Man Factory 7/01/2002 07:36:00 PM [+] ::
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Deep thoughts: When they said "woomp there it is", what were they talking about? an oncoming car? a booty? the contact lens that they dropped? I just answered my own question- it's definitely a booty song. How demeaning to reduce "booty" to "it", and what a strange song when you think about it- dudes huddling around a studio microphone yelling this mantra at each other, the smell of sweat and doritoes hanging pungent in the air... It's like, ok, there it is...so, uh let's point it out again. But maybe I'm not getting it, maybe it's deeper- This ode to beauty, I mean booty. They are celebrating it, hunching down in circles just pointing at it, marveling at it's perfect symmetry and bounty. The wooomp is a call to arms or call to cheeks in this case. For some reason though, I don't think I'll ever experience the unity and bonding in uttering "woomp" with my brethren upon seeing a buttocks. If I do, shoot me. Also, shouldn't artists be asking better questions than "who let the dogs out?" or making me wonder if "it" is a booty or not? Also, what's up with the catch phrases- "woomp", The "who" refrain in who let the dogs out? Will Smith going "uh" at the beginning of EVERY song he records... I guess if I wrote a rap anthem it'd be like "HEY! What happened to Amelia Earheart!" or "Hora! Asoko desu!" (loose Japanese transaltion of Woomp there it is..very loose) Deep thoughts...

:: Ol Man Factory 7/01/2002 10:05:00 AM [+] ::
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I'm obsessed w/making lists now- it's just a fun way to pass the time. (ever since reading High Fidelity too) what shall I list today? Top 5 embarrasing moments? ok here goes (in reverse order)... 5) When I was in 6th grade, my friend's sister was in 7th. I was about to make the transition to junior high and in front of his sister- he goes "hey man, you're gonna see my sister ALOT- you know what that means?" I said "uh- no man, it'd never work out between the two of us..." he was like "dude, I just meant you're gonna see her alot, not like date her!" Mortified!
4) Once upon a time I took a girl I really liked out to dinner, SOMEHOW the topic of medication came up (my friend had just started ant-depressants) I said something stupid like "it's sad that the price of contentment is to become a spaced out zombie" She was silent. Then she told me "I am a manic depressive and have been taking lithium..." I wanted to cry, not only because I was just the most insensitive asshole in the asshole hall of justice, but the stench of MY FOOT IN MY MOUTH was making my eyes water! Kill me now with a dull blade!
3) Anytime I poured a drink in front of a customer and out comes a dead fly as a garnish. I want to revoke my license to leave my house on those days.
2) anytime anyone's been in a car and suffered my sense of direction or lack thereof
1) When I was 6 or so, I got up in the middle of the night to take a leak. I was totally groggy, basically sleepwalking. I must've taken a wrong turn because I awoke to the sounds of my parents screaming and the sound of a steady stream of urine hitting the television screen. I couldn't believe my eyes! I couldn't stop it either- I mean once you start something like that you've gotta hang in there till the bitter end! None of this half assed "I'm gonna lightly glaze the TV w/piss" thing- the sucker was drenched! THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT!!!! Looking back on it now- it seems kinda symbolic cuz I don't really like tv now- it's basically a toilet in some ways

:: Ol Man Factory 6/30/2002 09:25:00 AM [+] ::
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